How to Listen to Your Body(When You’ve Spent Decades Tuning It Out)

Does your body feel like a stranger to you these days?

Midlife can bring a wave of changes— energy crashes, disrupted sleep, moods swing, digestion flares up, and your body shape shifts in ways you never expected. It can feel chaotic. Unpredictable. Completely overwhelming.

And if your first instinct is to “fix it”-perhaps with a new diet, a cleanse or even a supplement-you're not alone.

As a dietitian, I understand the desire to make changes to feel better. Sometimes, a few dietary tweaks can make a difference. But the deeper pattern we're addressing here is the pervsive belief, instilled by diet culture, wellness trends and even some medical approaches, that our bodies are a problem to solve.

But what if midlife changes aren’t signs of failure? What if your body isn’t breaking down—but speaking up? Inviting you into a different kind of relationship?

Midlife can be a powerful time to to pause, get curious and (re)learn how to trust your body-not fight it.

It can be a time to find alternatives to the endless cyle of dieting and fear of weight gain. It can be a time to build a foundation of body respect and intuitive understanding. A time to listen to the wisdom of our bodies.

Why It’s So Hard to Listen to Your Body

Let’s be honest: for most of us, listening to our bodies was never encouraged.

We grew up watching our mothers’ diet, skip meals, or talk about their bodies with shame. We learned—quietly and clearly—that being a woman meant being in a lifelong tug-of-war with food, weight, and worth. This conditionaling often leads to a fear of weight gain, even when we are pursuing health and well-being.

I remember being 12. In the middle of puberty. My body was considered “a little too plump,” and that’s when I was introduced to Weight Watchers. My mom meant well. She just wanted me to fit in.

But that “help” planted a seed of distrust that would shape how I related to food and my body for decades.

We live in a culture where women are valued more for how we look than what we know, feel, or create. We’re praised for being pretty, not powerful. And eventually, we start viewing ourselves from the outside in.

This is where self-objectification takes root.

The Problem with Seeing Your Body from the Outside In

Self-objectification is what happens when we internalize the gaze of others. We begin to monitor how we look rather than how we feel. Our bodies become something to manage, to fix, to constantly evaluate—like we’re on a lifelong performance review we never signed up for.

Instead of asking, Am I tired? Am I hungry? Am I okay?, we ask, How do I look?

We might suck in our stomachs for photos, skip meals before events, or spend more time calculating calories than noticing whether we’re satisfied.

We become experts at posing, pleasing, and pushing through, oftenat the expense of our body's true needs.

But there’s a significant cost to this.

When we’re focused on our external appearance, and fear changes to our body, we lose access to our internal cues.

We override hunger. We numb pain. We disconnect from joy. And eventually, we start to believe that we can’t trust our own bodies at all.

How Body Judgment Shows Up in Healthcare—and Everywhere Else

Now add to that a healthcare system that often treats weight as a diagnosis. When we walk into an exam room, many of us are met with assumptions before we’re even asked about our symptoms. This weight-centric apporach often overlooks the genuine health concerns and reinforces our shame and fear of weight gain.

Joint pain? Lose weight. Fatigue? Lose weight. Hormonal shifts? Try a diet.

Actual concerns—like perimenopause, thyroid issues, pain, or sleep disruptions—are too often brushed aside.

We're handed a prescription for weight loss instead of real solutions.

This isn’t just frustrating. It’s harmful. And it reinforces the belief that our bodies are the problem—when it’s the system that’s failing us.

If you’ve spent years (or decades) tuning out your body, skipping meals, pushing through pain, or feeling like your needs were “too much,” it’s not a personal failure.

It’s conditioning- a deeply ingrained response to a culture that prioritizes thiness and weight control above all else.  And that, thankfully, can be unlearned.

We were praised for ignoring hunger, for shrinking ourselves, for putting everyone else first. Disconnection became a survival strategy. And in many ways, it worked—until it didn’t.

Now, in midlife, your body is speaking louder, perhpas demanding a different appraoch. And you might finally be ready to listen, ready to explore alternatives to the constant battle against your body.

What Is Body Trust—And Why Does It Matter Now?

Body trust isn’t about “clean eating” or perfect self-care routines. It’s about coming home to yourself.

Hilary Kinavey and Dana Sturtevant, authors of Reclaiming Body Trust, define body trust as the process of healing your relationship with your body, your eating, and your sense of self—especially if you’ve spent years feeling like your body couldn’t be trusted.

They write, “We need to stop doing things to and on our bodies and start doing things for and with them.”

That one sentence? It flips everything we’ve been taught.

Body trust isn’t about control or discipline. It’s not about “fixing” anything. It’s about shifting from domination to collaboration—from seeing your body as a project to seeing it as a partner.

A Framework for Embodiment

Psychologist and researcher Dr. Niva Piran, a highly respected Canadian clinical psychologist, is widely considered a pioneer in the field of embodiment.

She’s spent decades studying body image and eating disorders in girls and young women, and her work has transformed how we understand the connection between body, self, and society.

Rather than focusing on appearance or body control, her research asks:

What does it mean to feel at home, living in your body?

Dr. Piran identified three key components that support a healthy, trusting relationship with the body:

Body Awareness: Noticing your physical sensations—hunger, fatigue, tension, calm—without judgment.

Body Comfort: Creating conditions that allow your body to feel at ease. That might be soft clothes, warm meals, a safe space.

Body Agency: Making choices that honor your needs. Moving your body (or resting it), eating what feels good, setting boundaries.

How to Start Listening and Trusting Your Body Again

You don’t have to overhaul your life or become a mindfulness guru. Tiny, consistent shifts make the biggest difference. Here’s how to start:

*Pick one internal body cue to focus on

Hunger, thirst, fatigue, anxiety, restlessness—start with whatever speaks the loudest. Ask: What am I feeling right now? What might I need?

*Do a 2-minute body scan.

Sit or lie down. Close your eyes. Slowly move your attention through your body—from your toes to your head. Notice sensations. You don’t have to change them. Just pay attention.

*Practice checking in before and after meals.

Not to judge the meal—but to ask: Am I hungry? Am I full? Did that satisfy me? This builds connection, not control.  This is a big part of intuitive eating.

*Set yourself some check-in reminders through the day.

Ask: What would feel supportive right now? A glass of water? A walk? A hug? Silence? Listening to what you need in the moment helps rebuild trust.

*Practice self-compassion when it feels messy.

Because it will feel messy. Reconnection takes time. If your body signals feel confusing, you’re not broken—you’re re-learning.

Coming Home to Yourself

Learning how to trust your body isn’t just about food, health, or weight. It’s about building a life that honors your needs, values your experience, and treats your body with the dignity it’s always deserved.

This is the work of healing—not because your body is broken, but because you finally understand its worth independent of weight or societal expectations.

And while it might feel unfamiliar at first, this practice can lead to something powerful:

Freedom from the constant worry about food and weight. Confidence in your body's innate wisdom. Peace with your changing body. Feeling at home in your own skin—just as you are.

Midlife can feel like everything is unraveling—but what if that unraveling is also an invitation? An invitation to try something different rather than just trying harder. To stop fixing and start listening. To stop pushing through, and begin tuning in.

This is not a self-improvement project. It’s a homecoming to yourself, a journey towards a more compassionate and sustainable relationship with your body and food.